Stuck

Today, I am suffering writer’s block.

Well, writer’s block implies that I have nothing to say about my kids. I ‘m sure I have plenty to say. I know I did some reflecting today.

But when it comes to blogging today, the creative juices aren’t flowing. And I know why:

• I’m fighting another headache.
• I’m wrestling with worries about a current debate going on among colleagues.
• I had a grumpy after work time. Woes around dishes. Silly misunderstandings leading to longer conversations. Getting caught up in procrastination instead of taking care of all my have-tos.
• But most of all, I have a paper to write for my certification program. It encourages critical thinking. It involves growing and toning the reflective, student-focused, and self-evaluative habits of mind that I have thanks to this program. Even if I can’t point to its exact utility, I am sure that somehow, some way, it is aiding in my growth as a newbie teacher. But all that said, I DON’T WANT TO DO IT. I don’t want to write. I don’t want to synthesize. I don’t want to analyze. I don’t want to research. I don’t want to spend my time and brain energy on something like this when my time and brain energy and creativity could be put to use getting things ready for the classroom.

So I have creative energies. But they’re being spent everywhere else. I’m having creativity block.

So today, instead of a thoughtful blog, I have a list of grievances and am presenting a glorified vent session.

And I’m procrastinating while doing it!

All that said, however, one thing stands out to me. And that is how very important blogging has become to me. It is engaging. It is cathartic. It is edifying. It helps me be reflective. It helps me digest, process, breathe, rethink. It is better than a journal because a journal can turn to self-service, self-importance, self, self self. That is important, too. Don’t get me wrong. But I like this because it makes me form my thoughts, really question myself and what I’m thinking. It makes me feel accountable to something. And, I like sharing my voice. I like hearing other voices back. I’ve enjoyed reading comments and I hope they continue to come. I hope they challenge me and help me and push me to be better. I hope they give me new ideas and connect me to other minds.

Thus, even on this day of being made stuck by my work, my mood, my procrastination, my own head, I feel the need to stop and think about things and share that thinking out.

I feel ok about this entry and what it is. But still. Here’s hoping that tomorrow, I return to more creative and thoughtful work.

For now, It’s off to my paper.